You have a brief idea, feeling or thought, which I'll call a glimmer of light. It leads to another glimmer of light then before you know it, one right after the other your light shines bright and when you open your eyes and really look, you see that YOUR light has created a glorious, shimmering ball of beauty. Just what you need to see through the darkness. But as in human nature sometimes we tell our self, our light isn't bright enough, not good enough. Sometimes they just burn out for awhile. At times I feel my lights are burnt but then something happens and I realize they are only dimmed for a short while. Only I have the spark that can turn them back into that brilliant shining sphere. Don't be afraid to let your light shine, let it spill over onto others to help light there way too. Don't forget to always show your best light. You never know a small glimmer of your light just might cascade over someone else, so often without your knowledge. Who knows how little of your light might cascade onto others and light there way. Something Good
I feel good things are going to come my way. I don't need a horoscope to tell me that. I can feel it, deep down I can feel it. I can see people around me are changing as I hope I am too. As the new year is upon us we always decide that change is needed, our "new years resolution". This year I decided I wasn't going to make a list but yet I find myself trying to better myself...situation...life. I think we all want a richer life. It's not to say I'm not happy in my life now, I am, but I feel I can be more, do more, live more and love more.
Not to long ago I was talking with a friend and I got the feeling that this friend was somewhat jealous of me? Later on I was telling my daughter about this and she said she always got that same impression. Of course I had to laugh, why be jealous of ME...I'm no one. In reality I should be Jealous of her... she seems to have it all, she's beautiful, loving family, new house, new cars, if she wants something, she just goes out and buys it, she's funny, nice, cares about others, she seems to have it all. I mean look at me? I'm in my 40's for goodness sakes, Little over weight I live paycheck to paycheck. My home is always in need of repair, I'm a horrible house keeper. Although I do have a loving family (a little dis functional at times but it works for us). Then I got to thinking what would anyone in there right mind have to be jealous of me about. And if you've never tried this do it now. I started thinking of all my good qualities. I'm creative, caring, can carry a note (sometimes), have a wonderful relationship with my children (And there teenagers!) I'm happy and smiling most of the time. Have a natural urge to help others and I try to be a good role model. Man, it's not easy thinking of your good qualities. Somehow we are programed to not think so highly of ourselves. I was told once that it's because we here from a very young age... no, don't, you can't, shouldn't... all negative. I don't know if that's a part of it but I do know it's easier to talk ourselves out of thing we want to try or do than to talk ourselves into them. Many obstacles get in our minds way.... when I have more time, money, when I lose 5 pounds, when my to do list is completed. It's much easier to put it off than to jump in with both feet. But I'm learning sometimes it's okay to start small... you don't have to jump in with both feet, eyes wide open... start slower maybe just stick you toe in test the waters when that feels comfortable move in a little further. I heard the other day someone I know started working one night a week in a little pub to make some extra money because they want to start there own business. A flower shop. My first thought when I heard this was "she isn't going to make enough money working in this small pub, only one night a week, that's rediculas!" But then later when I got thinking more about it, it struck me, she has a goal and is going for it, working towards it. It doesn't matter how fast she works towards it, only that she is going for it. Then I felt envy. But that's good, it teaches me, I can do the things I want to do, sometimes all it takes is that first step. And to remember for every thought telling you, you can do it, there will be 10 others telling you, you can't. You just have to set your sights high over the negativity and keep your eye on your goal. In high school I got terrible grades in English. As you can tell, I'm still not very good at sentence structure. But one time we had a writing assignment, we had to write a story. All the teacher gave us was the title. We could make the story into anything we wanted. Even though I felt I was not cut out to be a writer, I mean my grades surely showed me that, but I put my creative juices to work and wrote my story. I had fun writing it too. After I turned it in waiting for my grade (hoping to pass) my teacher approached me, she said she loved my story and thought I could write children's books. She put it in the school paper along with a few other peoples stories. Wow what a boost! I never would have entered my mind that I would want to be a writer someday. Someone believed in me, lit a spark under me. I'm sure she has no idea what she did for me that day. Even though I've never tried to write any books yet. I've had in my mind an idea for a story I'd like to write someday. I've written notes and ideas for it (I have a folder near my bed where I keep these little tid bits) I can see the whole story in my head and someday I will give it a whirl. Probably sometime when I have more time to myself. I am a pretty busy gal. This Christmas I directed a Christmas variety show, with a theater group I am active in. In the past people would come try out with a song or dance. And that would be the show...."And that was Billy singing silent night, wasn't he good, lets hear it for Billy" But this year I decided we were a theater group and it should be more acting to our show. Of course it was after it was decided and audition notices sent out that it was going to be individual acts. So everyone came and tried out. We chose the dance and singing acts. Then my teenage daughter and I wrote a small play incorporating all these wonderful acts. I don't think I would have had the courage to even try if it wasn't for that one teacher so long ago. The whole thing turned out wonderful, it was smart and funny, the audience left smiling and cheerful. Some even came back the next night! I had one guy tell me he usually doesn't care to go to these things. He said even though the dance routines were good and the singing was good, he really got sucked into the whole story! That was the best compliment I could have gotten. I was also asked how do I think I'm going to be able to top this next year, they said I laid out some very big shoes to fill. Many people said we should try to have it published. My daughter and I kicked around the idea but felt since the songs used weren't ours, we couldn't. We pondered the idea of changing the script some and coming up with our own songs to incorporate into the play or have others make up songs for it. We do know alot of talented individuals who write there own music. But in the end we've decided to put it on the back burner. Maybe later we will light the fire under it again, who knows. I remember when I first told family and coworkers that we were going to write this little play. Not one of them gave me any encouragement but rather the opposite. "Good luck with that" they would say with there lips curled up in disapprovement. And the funny thing is when they made those comments, it did make me want to put the brakes on, put my tail between my legs and run the other way. I started questioning myself. "Who do I think I am I'm not a writer, I didn't even go to college. What if it sucks? Even though I felt it was good what would others think?" I don't know if my daughter had any of these feelings or not, I'm hoping she just believes anything is possible if you try. But then other thoughts crept in my mind, "that teacher thought I could write" "You don't know until you try" "What do I have to lose? Besides it will be fun, spending some time with my daughter." and of course just a little of "I'll show them" It took a little bit to get past my inner negativity but I did and the showed turned out great! I truly was skeptical until the night of the first performance. Then I was shocked and amazed at peoples responses. Wow I did that! So now that, that play is over I've discovered I have the urge to write another play. This time no singing. But now my inner voice was saying "About what?" I tried to think of things I could write a story about. Nothing sounded good, then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I came up with an idea... beginning .... middle and end. I mean as my story was coming to my mind, I actually started jumping up and down with excitement! Screaming and dancing around! I think my idea can be hysterical! So I started writing my outline for the play. Once in awhile as I'm working on it, that voice telling me it can't be done comes into my head and in all honestly it slows me down for awhile. But I keep telling myself just continue on and I do. I am hoping to finish it and submit it to a contest for playwrights. Who knows if my negative voice will win out in the long run or not but for now I choose to still ignore it.
